The Legacy: Josh's POV
by xXcoolkat390Xx
Summary: This takes place right after Reed and Josh get in a fight at the legacy about billings. It's the night that changed everything and this time its told from Josh...
1. Chapter 1

**hey everyone this is my first ****fanficiton ****so sorry if its not the best :-p this takes place at the legacy but now its from joshs perspective. i don't own any of the characters they all belong to the genius known as Kate Brian. enjoy!**

as i walked away from reed and the crowd of drunken partiers swarmed around me, i felt an odd mixture of emotions. one surprisingly enough, was relief. relief because i finally got all i was feeling off my chest and no longer had to hold anything in. like the fact that reed wasn't the same reed anymore. at least not the carefree down to earth reed i fell in love with. its like this presidency has stripped her of her great personality which i guess is just another reason to add to the long list of why i detested billings.

another emotion was obviously, anger. i mean was it really that big a deal to just leave now? in the woods when she said soon, i thought she meant that tonight would be the night. but i guess i didn't make the top of her priority list once she got here. i think that rejection stung the worst. which brings me to my next emotion. hurt. why does she always seem to put billings in front of me? first going to find the legacy invites with Noelle instead of going to my family reunion, and now this? did she really care more about them then she did me? she meant everything to me, but i guess the feeling wasn't mutual.

i felt dizzy suddenly, which might've been because of the heavy bass music and all the bodies jumping up and down. but i think it was the gravity of the situation finally dawning on me. luckily there was an open stool at one of the many self serving bars within seating distance. i sat down with a thump and felt instantly more stable. the assortment of alcohol across the counter caught my eye and i sighed longingly. what i wouldn't give to get a drink right now. it'd be the perfect way to clear my head, or at least numb out some of the pain. but i knew that too much alcohol or other chemicals would totally throw me off and i could have another stoke. i shuddered at the though of the last time that happened. it was about a month ago when Cheyenne Martin drugged me into hooking up with her. that was definitely one of the worst nights of my life, probably ties with when i got falsely arrested for murdering Thomas. and that night was made a million times worse because it was the night i had almost lost reed forever.

then i felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water on my head. what was i doing? i might have just lost reed again but this time i didn't have drugs to blame on it. i had done it all on my own. i thought back to my actions a minute ago and couldn't have been more ashamed of myself. the harsh things i said about billings and how shes become one of them.. that wasn't fair to her at all. cold hard regret seeped all over me. what was wrong with me? why was i being like this, so demanding, so judgmental.

but i knew the reason. her not agreeing to leave just made me snap. it confirmed the suspicions in my head that she didn't care about me or didn't want to be with me as much as she did the billings girls. but suddenly that logic wasn't making sense to me. so what if she wanted to hang out with her friends, she was right, it was her own life. god when did i become one of those creepy possessive boyfriends? i didn't know but one thought kept repeating itself in my head. i had to get reed back. i was fully prepared to beg for forgiveness and grovel at her feet, do what ever it takes. i just had to get her back before its too late.

**hey sorry its so short but i promise the next one will be longer and ill update asap. it always bugs me when people take too long updating there stories. so i know i barely gave you guys anything but tell me what you thought. was it good? great? a failed attempt? i would totally appreciate your reviews! thanks for reading!**

**xoxo**

**xXcoolkat390Xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**hey heres your chapter 2! hope you like it!**

i walked to where i just left reed a minute ago but only found her friends dancing in a group. i did a double check of the floor and saw no sign of her.

"hey constance" i said walking over to the group and pulling her to the side.

"oh hi there joshy" she slurred. she was drunk. of course.

"do you know where reed went?"

"i think she went that away" she said pointing her whole arm up in the air towards the ceiling.

due to her current state that made her lose her balance. i caught her by the shoulders a second before she wouldve taken us both down.

"thanks" i said shoving my way through the crowd to the spiral staircase in the back of the room. i took the steps two at a time until i arrived on the second floor.

what i saw was probably an alcoholics dreamland.

there was a giant fountain in the center spurting some kind of liquid that smelled suspiciously of vodka. beer kegs like the kind you see in those cheesy college movie encircled the room and in case that wasnt enough there were atlest five different self serving mini bars.

but the real show were the people here. they were all insanely drunk so therefore they were dancing, making out, running around, and just generally acting like drunken morons.

_and these are the future leaders of our country_ i thought wirily.

but really this was just sad. i cant imagine how anyone could find this fun, especially reed. reed. was she on this floor? i didnt see her passed out in the corner or running around like a lunatic so still i had no luck in finding her. i even opened up a few doors but still just passed out partiers. i sighed and started up the staircase again.

* * *

i probably shouldve expected it because of the rumors floating around about the third floor but still. i saw more than a couple of things id never want to mention to anyone.

thankfully i didn't see reed shoving her tongue down some guys throat, or worse, on one of the mattresses laid across the floor, but where was she? i stomached enough to look around the room but she wasnt there. where did she go? i couldnt have left her alone for more than five minutes so its not like she couldve gotten far. what if she left? dread fell over me as i thought about not getting a chance to explain my awful behavoir to reed and her hating me forever. but i couldnt think like that. i still had one more floor to go and there was also the roof. i didnt have to start panicking yet. i turned around and headed up the staircase again.

onto floor four…

* * *

the second i entered i got a mouthful of pot. i chocked and covered my mouth hoping not too much had gotten in. it was the same situation as the alcohol, too much in me and ill go haywire.

i saw a group of guys i knew from Ketlar snorting something up there nose and i headed over to them. i knew they were all high as a kite but any help would be apreciated right now.

"hey guys" i said as a greeting.

"dude" said gage all wide eyed with white stuff under his nose. i guess crack is his preferred drug of the night "theres, theres a poodle on your head". he even pet my head like it was a real dog.

i swatted his hand away and rolled my eyes, not really sure how to respond to that.

"have any of you guys seen reed?" i said adressing the rest of the guys.

"who?" trey said groggily. oh god they even looped trey into this?

"nevermind" i grumbled and turned around seeing as talking to them would just be a waste of time.

i went in and out of rooms, explored every square inch and yet i came up empty handed. ok now i was really starting to panick.


	3. Chapter 3

**I want to give a shout out to mary, privateisawesome, and wekickass16 for reviewing my story! thanks so much you have no idea how much that means to me!**

I couldn't stand being in the drug room anymore, so I stepped out the exit and leaned against the wall of the stairwell. I brought my hands to my head and took a deep breath, but that did nothing to settle my frantic thoughts.

Where could she be? I searched everywhere and I still couldn't seem to track her down. Well I hadn't searched the roof yet. Didn't Reed mention something about the roof before, something about going up there… wait I heard that was the place where the more modest couples go to be alone. Was she waiting up there for me? Or what if… what if she was with someone else?

No. She wouldn't. She couldn't. We got in one argument, that doesn't mean she moved on with in mere minutes. Yes, it must just be a timing thing, like we were never on the same floor at the same time. Or maybe she's just in the bathroom, or passed out in a closet. I mean she was really drunk.

_See, there were some sane explanation to all this.__ Just____._ Calm. Down.

I finally got my breathing to return to normal, and couldn't help but laugh a little at how ridiculous I was being. Maybe I inhaled more pot than I thought I did.

Feeling a thousand times more calm, I planned out what I was going to do next. I'd go up to the roof just to check if she was there, and if that didn't work, I'd just start the whole searching process over again. I'd do it all night if I had to. Then once I run into her, I would apologize over and over again until she forgives me. Then she'd take me back and we'd just put this whole night behind us. Confident in my plan, I went up the stairs and onto the roof...

* * *

Standing up there, I felt like a complete moron. Because besides a couple who was sucking face to my left, and giant multi-colored tents that surrounded the whole place, I was completely alone. What was I gonna do now? Open up all the tents in hopes of finding Reed? Not only would that make me the biggest perv on Earth, I'm also 100 percent sure I wouldn't find her.

"God. Could you be any more gorgeous?" I hear come from the red tent to my immediate right. I instantly recognized the voice as Dash McCafferty's.

Huh, so I guess Dash and Noelle are up here. Good thing I didn't go with my whole opening up the tents idea.

I turned to leave, but then I heard something that stopped me. It stopped my heart from beating, and my blood from running, and I felt like a frozen version of myself.

It was someone sighing in a kind of pleasured way.

But that's not what stopped me. It's the fact that it came from that same red tent and I knew who that voice belonged to.

It was Reed's.

What was Reed doing in a tent with Dash? What made her make that sound?

But of course I knew why. Reed was cheating on me. With Dash. I didn't know why this was happening, my brain could barely function a thought, but I knew that was the truth.

"No!" I shouted out loud and whirled around, feeling the sudden urge to destroy something.

Someone had left a half empty flask on the wall that encircled the roof, so I whacked it off.

Liquid and glass splattered everywhere and a heard a cry.

A shard of glass must have hit the girl who was up here with her boyfriend, because she was gripping her leg in pain. They were both looking at me like I was a complete psycho.

Maybe I was but I didn't care.

I turned around and found the tent again, knowing I had to make them realize they didn't get away with this.

So I put a hand on either side of the curtain and flung it open.

**So Josh found out. Duh duh duh. You know this ain't gonna be pretty. And I'm sure you guys will appreciate that this chapter has more than 500 words lol. Please review if you can, thanks!**

**xoxo**

**xXcoolkat390Xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi everyone, so sorry for the delay! I though I posted this a while ago but I guess it didn't go through.. idk but anyway hope you like chapter 4!**

What I found inside the tent was Reed and Dash in bed together.

He was on top of her with his shirt unbuttoned and his hands on her chest, which was fully exposed since her dress was half pulled down. Her hands were working the belt off Dash's pants and she looked like she was in complete bliss, like she didn't give a care in the world about me.

I was going to throw up.

Then suddenly her eyes fell on mine and panic shot through them.

"Josh!" she shouted.

That's it. I'd had enough.

I turned around and started running, leaving behind those disgusting backstabbers I used to call my friend and girlfriend.

"Reed, wait!" I heard Dash yell behind me and realized she was going after me.

No, I couldn't face her now. I don't think I can ever even look at her again.

I heard someone retching behind me and somehow knew it was her.

"Ew! Bitch!" someone shrieked.

"Nasty!" another agreed.

If she thought that would somehow make me take pity on her, she was wrong. I was done with her. I felt like she ripped my heart out and decimated it into little pieces, that's literally how much it hurt.

I crossed the roof and saw a group of people hovering around the door to the 5th floor.

"Move!" I shouted and shoved through them.

"Josh! Josh, wait!" I heard her shout behind me.

I had to get away from her, since talking to her was not an option. There's just no way I could handle it.

I flung myself down the spiral staircase for all it was worth, and started running again.

It occurred to me though, that running away won't do any good, that she'll just keep following me.

So I got off on the 4th floor and braced myself for the pain seeing Reed was going to inflict on me.

I turned around and saw she looked a little worse for the tear. Her skin was shiny with sweat and had a green undertone to it, and her hair was a rat's nest piled on top of her head.

She reached forward as if to grab me, but I stepped away from her touch, and she actually had to grab the wall to regain stability. Her being this drunk was repulsive.

"You're a mess," I spat at her.

"I know. But Josh. I didn't.. I didn't know..." she stammered, attempting to explain.

Didn't know what exactly? What she was doing? Because she seemed pretty damn sure of herself in that tent. My mind flashed back to Reed unbuckling Dash's belt, and it was all I could do not to upchuck.

"I came back here to apologize. I came back here to tell you I felt bad about what I said. That I felt guilty," I said bitterly, feeling my voice rise with every word. "But where do I find you? I find you half naked, pinned under one of my best friends!"

She flinched while a bunch of guys smoking weed from bongs laughed next to us.

"Dude chill. It _is_ the Legacy," the one with the red bong said. I would've flicked him off if I'd cared enough to do so.

"Josh, please," Reed desperately pleaded yet again. "I didn't know what I was doing. Something's wrong with me. I feel.. I didn't-"

"Think you were going to get caught?" I angrily finished for her. "Well you did. And just so we're clear, we're over. As of right now, I don't ever want to see you again. Good-bye, Reed."

Then I turned, shoved the red bong guy out of my way, and ran in the opposite direction.

"Josh! Josh, no! You can't-" but her voice cut off then because I was already to far away to hear.

I crossed the room and flew down the other spiral staircase, throbbing everywhere imaginable, and feeling like the place that used to be my heart was now an empty hole.

But I couldn't focus on that now, first I had to figure out how the hell I was getting home. I could take one of the limousines Suzel provided for us, but that probably wasn't an option since the drivers were instructed to wait until the end of the night to take us all home. So right now, hitchhiking seemed like the only chance I'll get of leaving this horrendous place.

I got off the stairs and stepped onto the main floor, trying to push my way to the entrance, but someone intercepted my path.

"Hey," Ivy Slade said to me with a knowing smirk. "You leaving already?"

Wait, why was Ivy talking to me? Didn't she hate me, along with the rest of Easton? Wasn't that the reason she tried to excluded us all from the Legacy? If only she had done a better job, then I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. I guess I was kind of blaming this on Ivy, but it wasn't her fault, so that wasn't fair of me. At that point, it occurred to my overwrought mind that I still hadn't answered her.

"Yes," I said finally.

"Well, let me give you a ride," she said using a some what seductive tone.

"OK," was the only thing I could think to say. I may have never spoken two words to the girl, but she was obviously trying to be nice, and plus, it beat hitchhiking.

She took me by the hand, leading me through the thick crowd and out the front door that was flanked by security guards. Outside, there were limousines and town cars stretched as far as the eye can see, but she had a sleek stretch limousine waiting for her at the front of the line. She opened the door and carefully sat down as I slid in the seat across from her.

Being in here, I couldn't help thinking not hours ago, I was in a limo just like this with Reed and all of our friends. That seems like a different lifetime, a completely different Josh who had come to this Legacy full of hope, who was naive enough to believe he knew Reed better than anyone. That Reed loved him. But I could tell that what happened tonight was something I'd look back on forever, because now that I knew the real Reed, nothing would ever be the same again.

**Whooo! Longest chapter yet (which I know is sad because this really isn't that long). If you have the time, please review because any constructive criticism or comments are super helpful to me! Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi here's you're chapter 5!**

Suddenly, being away from the atmosphere of rich drunken teenagers and pounding music, I felt every last wisp of anger escape me.

And what was left was unbearably soul-crushing sadness, and at least a hundred unanswered questions.

Why would Reed do this to me? Why? What was so bad about me that she threw herself at Dash the first chance she got? Is this why she refused to leave early, and shot down my offer to stay home with me, because she just wanted to be here with him?

Oh God, was this why Reed was willing to do anything to get to the Legacy? Because she knew it was her only chance of getting with Dash? I felt so incredibly stupid, so hallow inside for thinking that she actually loved me. And why did it have to be Dash? I didn't even think she had heard from his since last year when he graduated. I thought back to that time, looking for any sign that they had something going, that they had a special connection… but nothing. I seriously couldn't think of one thing. But I obviously wasn't paying enough attention because how else could this have happened?

And now that I thought about it, I was pretty pissed at Dash too. How could he do this to me? How could he try to sleep with my girlfriend when he knew how much I loved her? And plus he had always been Mr. Responsibly, Mr. Do What's Right. Was that all just an act too? Was I just that much of an idiot?

"What happened?" a voice said suddenly.

I felt like I was just woken out of a dream, because at first I was completely confused by my surroundings as I looked up. But then I blinked a couple of times and found I was in a limo with Ivy Slade across from me, staring at me intensely.

God, how long have I been in here? It must have at least been an hour, and I spent the whole time staring at the exact same spot on the floor. She must think I'm high or something, but considering where we just were, it's not much of a stretch.

"What?" I said, my voice cracking because of the lack of use for it.

"I said what happened? I saw you and Reed arguing and you looked pissed as hell. So what did she do?" she pressed, with genuine curiousity in her eyes.

I could only shake my head. There was no way I could talk about this, talk about how Reed betrayed me in the worse possible way, with out having a mental break down. And that was something I didn't want any one seeing, especially Ivy.

"Well, I know how we can get back at her," she stated, a sly smile playing at her lips.

The logical side of my brain had long since shut down tonight, so I had no idea what she was talking about, until she leaned over and kissed me.

Instantly panic shot through me. What was she doing? She can't possibly think there's any way I could do this, only hours after I dumped the love of my life. I couldn't do this to Reed.

But then I wanted to kick myself for thinking that. Why did I care what Reed would think of this? Obviously she had no problem moving onto other people, so why should I?

Reed and Dash in that stupid tent together instantly flickered through my mind, and my heart twisted painfully. Didn't she realize how much that would hurt me? Did she even care?

And maybe throwing myself into this thing with Ivy would stop the pain. Maybe it would make me fall deep in love with her, and make me forget there ever was a Reed Brennan.

So, what took probably an eternity, I kissed her back.

Glad that I was showing some kind of sign that I was still alive, she instantly deepened the kiss, both of her hands groping at my collar and pulling me in tighter.

As it started getting heavier and more intense, I began to worry about where this was heading. No matter what way I looked at it, there was just no way I was ready for anything like that.

But luckily, the limo started pulling into the circle drive of Easton Academy.

The driver wisely parked in a place obscured by trees, so we wouldn't get caught by the teachers who were probably on the look out for all of us at this very moment.

"I'll see ya later, Josh," Ivy said giving me a peck on my cheek as the driver got out and pulled the door opened.

I numbly stepped out and stumbled a couple of steps, feeling under the influence despite my lack of drinking, and closed the door behind me.

Then the driver got back behind the steering wheel and Ivy waved good-bye with a sexy smile, before they took of into the night.

In the small part of my mind that was still thinking straight, I decided it'd be a good idea to walk behind the trees to avoid getting caught and expelled.

But then out of the corner of my eye I saw something.

Black pillars of smoke were stretched from the ground to the sky surrounding it, and at least half a dozen fire trucks, police cars, and ambulances were at the site.

Even from as far away as I was, I could see Headmaster Cromwell talking to a police officer, and looking as grim as death itself.

For he was staring at the burn remains of Gwendolyn Hall.

**Hey everyone, yes I know it's on the shorter side yet again, but what did you think? If you've gotten this far, you might as well review right? It would be extremely helpful and nice if you could, thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to everyone for your reviews! Hope chapter 6 is just as good :-p**

I crossed the campus, trying my best to hide in the shadows of the towering building, and some how avoided getting caught.

Well, I guess the current situation out there was a little distracting.

I thought back to the beginning of the night when we were in Gwendolyn Hall, trying to think what could have started that fire. Then I remembered the Twin Cities and Gage smoking weed. They must've left a burnt joint behind and that set the whole place on fire. Those idiots! Now not only do they have the offense of sneaking out tonight, which the Crom said the punishment would be dire, but also burning down the oldest building in Easton Academy. Some how I knew this infraction would be placed directly on Reed's shoulders, and try as I may, I couldn't help but to be worried for her.

The guilt I felt when I thought of Reed was overbearing. What did I just do? Why did I left Ivy kiss me? Why did I kiss her back? I know what Reed did was unforgivable, and she had hooked up with Dash first, but really didn't I just do the same thing? I was just as bad as her, and the realization sickened my heart.

I finally made my way to Ketlar, slid in the extra key someone had hid under the door mat for this very occasion, and quietly made my way inside. I was tip toeing until I realized most of the guys were at the Legacy, and I'd seen Mr. Cross out there with all the other teachers encircling Gwedolyn Hall. But still, I walked up the stairs to my floor just in case.

My door was as usual, unlocked, so I just slipped inside and lied on my bed, fully tuxedoed.

The weight of everything crashed down on my in waves, as I played everything out over and over and over again.

Me and Reed's fight, my desperation to win her back, hearing her in the tent, finding her half naked with Dash, running out, breaking up with her, being in the limo with Ivy, making out with Ivy, and of course, seeing Gwendolyn Hall on fire.

It all flipped through my mind like a really disturbing slide show again and again. How did this all happen in just one night? How did my life take such a complete 180, have every aspect of it completely screwed up?

What was I going to do tomorrow? What if I ran into Reed again, and she begged for my forgiveness? Would I be an idiot and cave? I mean I always have been some what of a push over. No, I couldn't, there's just no way I could be with her ever after what she did. I'd never give her another opportunity to hurt me like this again.

Will I ever see Dash again, and if I did would I kick the crap out of him? I sure hope so, he definitely deserved it. I don't even like Noelle, but I sure feel sorry for her now. I mean how could Dash do this to her, or Reed for that matter, weren't those two best friends?

And what about Ivy? I had completely led her on tonight, practically shoved my tongue down her throat, which is usually a sure sign some one likes you, so what if she perceives it that way. Gage had told me Ivy's never serious about anyone but him, but what if she's willing to go out with me just to hurt Reed? I wouldn't let her though, would I? I barely even knew the girl, and now I was contemplating whether or not I was starting up a relationship with her. How was that even possible?

Tonight was suppose to be mine and Reed's night. Suppose to be the night where we connected on the most intimate level possible, where we expressed our profound love for each other. Why had this happened instead? Was this God's way of showing the real Reed, the Reed that with a couple drinks in her and after one fight turns into a cheater, before I was in too deep? Well if it was, it did no good because I was already in as deep as it gets. But now I would be stuck forever, no way I could take her back, but I'm positive there's no way I can get over her either.

In all the confusion and uncertainty and pain, I was sure of one thing. I wish this night at the Legacy had never happened.

**Hey! So I do deeply apologize for the shortness again. I know writing too short is an issue I really need to work on, but I thought it was a good place to cut it off. So here's my problem, I don't know if I should continue anymore because technically it's called Legacy so it was suppose to take place in the book Legacy. But idk, I guess I could write his POV in Ambition and possibly a little in Revalation. Review if you want me to continue!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! In honor of the people who told me to continue well.. I'm continuing! Lol, thanks so much for all your support it really means a lot to me! And sorry this took me like a month, school has just been consuming my life lately. Hope this isn't a disappointment :-p**

"Dude, get up!" I heard a voice order, waking me out of the coma of sleep I was just in. To illustrate their point even further, the person threw a pillow that hit me in the face.

"Wh- what?" I muttered, rubbing my eyes a few times to clear out the fogginess.

Trey Prescott, my roommate, was already dressed and getting ready for the day. I looked to the left of me and saw that my alarm clock read 6:55. Chapel doesn't start for at least another 35 minutes.

"Why the hell are you waking me up so early?" I grumbled, in no mood to be messed with today.

"Crom just sent an email out to everyone saying to meet in the Great Room. Man, you should've seen him last night when we all came home. He looked like he was ready to start ripping heads off," Trey said, his usual joking tone replaced with something more grim.

"So he's waking us up early as a punishment?" I asked, although it sounded completely stupid, even to my own ears.

"Nope, for some reason we're getting off easy. It's the Billings Girls who are being evaluated right now, apparently they even got the board of directors down to see what they're gonna do to them. My guess is Crom's always had it out for them, and now he's taking the opportunity to bring them down," he informed me.

The Billings Girls. As in Reed. My heart completely stopped, and it jolted me enough to get me sitting up straight in bed.

I was going to have to see Reed. I was going to have to see the board decide her fate, along with the whole house of Billings, which undoubtedly was not in her favor. How the hell was I going to do this? Just thinking about it sent my stomach into several painful knots, and made me wanna throw up. Was this it now? Was this now going to be my life, dreading seeing her, remembering so freshly her heartbreaking disloyalty? The thought alone made me flop back down on my back, and bring my hands up to my face. What I wanted more than anything is to sleep, to shut out all the pain and just sleep. But unfortunately, I already knew this wasn't an option.

"Come on man, you're not the only one with a hang over you know," Trey groused, hitting me with that retched pillow once more.

I opened my eyes and took a good look at him. He had bags under his blood shot eyes, and then I remembered vividly him being amongst the group of crack snorters last night at the Legacy. Now, on a normal occasion, this would've made me crack up (no pun intended), seeing as Trey was one of the biggest do-gooders I've ever met. But today I just got up, grabbed some clothes from my dresser, and changed in the bathroom.

Trey patiently waited for me to get myself looking decent, then we wordlessly made our way out of Ketlar and joined the group of people from our building heading towards Mitchell Hall. Everywhere I looked people were heading in our general direction, whispering, gossiping, smiling, giggling, and I found it strange that the mood was this light. But I realized why everyone seemed so happy, it's because it was the day Billings was going down. Billings has symbolized the girls everyone here hates, the snobs, the ones who think they're better than everyone else, so of course it shouldn't surprise me that everyone was thrilled to see them get what was coming to them. I didn't know how to feel about that, if I agreed with them, or if I was pissed at them for being so damn cheerful about the whole thing. I guess apart of me was still clinging to my loyalty to Reed, even though I knew that would only hurt me more.

We finally made our way into the giant room in Mitchell Hall, and took our seats in the back row of the folding chairs that was set out. That's when I saw them. There they were, the sixteen Billings girls, all sitting in identical folding chairs with their backs to us, while the Board of Directors were facing us, sitting at a large rectangular table. Towards the middle of the chairs, I saw Reed, well at least I saw the back of her head. But that was bad enough.

Just seeing that brought out a whole sea of emotions and flashbacks that I tried desperately to keep at bay. But it was no use, my mind reeled back to the devastating moments that I fear have scarred my mind permanently.

Going up on the roof, my hopefulness of finding Reed and pleading my case to her, hearing her sigh the way she did, opening up the tent, seeing her dress half pulled down with Dash's hands cupping her breasts. Seeing her hands unbuckling his belt, obviously trying to get his pants off, obviously trying to get him naked and have sex with him...

I heard a chocking noise, and I didn't even realize it came out of me, until I saw a couple of my friends look at me funny. I could feel my face radiating heat, but it wasn't enough to distract me from my current predicament.

If just seeing Reed had this affect on me, how was I going to do this? Seeing her everyday, possibly running into her, maybe even having to talk to her, how the hell was I going to deal with all that? But more importantly, how could she do this to me? She broke my heart so beyond the point of repairing, I don't see how I could even find a way to get past this. My heart was so obliterated, it was like sweet death was my only way to escape the pain...

No. I did not just think that. I'm not that guy, the guy who gets suicidal just because his girlfriend cheated on him. There was just no way.

I was starting to seriously freak myself out, so I decided to focus on the situation in front of me.

"These infractions are grievous," the Crom began, looking, as Trey said, like he was ready to start ripping heads off. He was standing behind a microphone stand and facing us, but every once in a while I saw him glare at the girls assembled by him, namely Reed. He lifted a white piece of paper and began reading from it.

"Hazing, initiation ceremonies, fighting, ignoring curfew on several occasion," he began, his voice grave. "Ignoring my strict mandate to remain on campus the night of Sunday, October thirty-first. And the most egregious, destruction of school property." He put the paper down on the stand and laced his fingers on top of it. "Destruction of one of the oldest buildings on this campus."

It was then he looked Reed right in the eye. So I guess I had been correct when I guessed the blame of Gwendolyn Hall would be placed directly on her shoulders. And even though I'm still pretty sure it was London and Vienna's "toking tour" that actually did the deed, I guess in a way it was her fault. If it wasn't for her, we never would've found a way into the Legacy, and never had been in Gwendolyn Hall, I never would've gotten cheated on...

"Headmaster Cromwell?" London suddenly blurting, standing straight up. "I just want to point out that we weren't the only ones there last night. I mean, the guys were there too, and-"

"I don't believe I opened the floor to comments, Miss Simmons," Headmaster stated, his already intimidating voice being amplified through out the room. Well it definitely had the right affect, because with a little squeak of surprise, London sat back down.

The guys around me scoffed incredulously, and I heard Trey murmur "Did she seriously try to blame shift this on us?". I completely agree, first off I honestly doubt Crom really cared about the Ketlar guys sneaking out. It was just that this last act of defiance on the Billings girls part was enough to get them caught for all the other stuff they did like the initiation ceremony, and the fighting, which I heard Amberly pulled off quite impressively. And plus tattling on us is a little too kindergarten for my taste.

"Now where was I?" he said, shifting the papers. While he was doing this, I took the time to examine Reed, or at least the back of her. I still wasn't sure what I thought about this, I mean getting rid of Billings would be a vast improvement for the school, but I knew this loss would devastate Reed. I knew I shouldn't be, be I was still concerned about her. And I was pretty sure I still loved her. But I also knew now Reed would always be associated with the fact that she cheated on me, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to change that. I still couldn't help wondering if it had all been a big mistake on her part, or if that was just the kind of girl she was. That she would've cheated on me at some point in our relationship, but she was just showing her true colors now. I hoped it was the former, because even though I'd still never forgive her, it would be easier that she just screwed up than being so very wrong about who Reed really is.

Crom cleared his voice loudly and continued. "Well, with a list of infractions this long, a vote seems superfluous, but the school bylaws dictate that we must vote. So, the directive on the table is this: Shall the board of directors hereby dissolve Billings House and redistribute its members through out the remaining girls' dormitories? Yay or nay? All those in favor-"

This was it. We could all feel it, and by the looks on the stern faces of the board, I knew my suspicions were being confirmed. This was going to be the end of Billings.

"Wait!" I heard Reed shout, standing up and facing all of us. You could practically hear the anticipation, all the shallow breaths, in the hush that followed.

"Yes, Miss Brennan?" Crom asked, his lips curling up in what I thought resembled a pit bull. Yeah, I guess Reed didn't exactly qualify for his list of favorite people here.

"This.. this isn't fair," she said, sounding like a whiny five- year- old. Snickers enveloped me as Reed's miserably tired face colored. What was she doing? Was she really trying to complain her way out of this? She took a deep breath and tried again.

"With all due respect, Headmaster Cromwell, you haven't given us a chance," she stated using a much more clear, confident tone.

This wiped the amused looks off most the people's faces and I even saw a couple of them lean forward in their chairs, as if to get a better view.

"Haven't I?" he asked, his voice dubious. Unfortunately, I had to agree with him on this one. I mean he had given them fair warning to not go out, yet that was exactly what we all did. He looked down at the papers again, as if to remind himself of what they had against them. "I believe you and your housemates have had plenty of chances."

"No, sir, we have not," she said using that authoritative tone again. People began whispering in surprise. How was Reed doing this, facing down the man who was threatening her whole life here at Easton? How could she be so strong when I felt like I was on the verge of shattering? I bet it was because she didn't care, she didn't give a rat's ass that she hurt me or that we broke up. All she cared about was freaking Billings.

"I'm the first to admit that things at Billings have been pretty terrible this year. But in case you've forgotten, one of our best friends just died," she informed him. Was she seriously using Cheyenne's death as a way of saving Billings from getting dissolved? Even in the most desperate situations, that seemed pretty low. "And yeah, okay, maybe we're having a hard time dealing with that right now, but Billings has been an asset to this school in the past and it will be again. You just have to give us a chance to prove it."

A sour taste filled my mouth. She couldn't possibly believe this, believe that Billings has some how contributed in a positive way to this school. I'm pretty damn sure it cost me the love of my life.

"And how, exactly, are you going to do that?" Headmaster Cromwell questioned, leaning his weight on his forearms.

Reed looked lost for a moment and turned back to her friends. I could have sworn I saw Noelle rub her fingers together, showing the universal sign for money. Oh come on, did they seriously think bribing the headmaster would work?

"Well hold a fundraiser," Reed announced, finally turning around to face us again. "Billings will pledge to raise.. one million dollars for Easton."

Gasped filled the room. One million dollars. There was no freaking way one million dollars was going to erase all of their aberrations. Even if it was _one million dollars_.

"If we succeed, Billings stays as is," she concluded, looking completely confident that this would work. "If we fail, you can do what you want with us."

I stared at Crom. He had to refuse this. He was a grown man, there was no way he could take the bait on this one. But then he covered the microphone and whispered to a man on the board of directors. Then that man passed on what Crom said to the next member, and so on and so on until their final decision made it back to Cromwell. He cleared his throat, and I'm pretty sure no one in the room was actually breathing. Me included.

"Make it five million, Miss Brennan," he said with a mischievous smile, "and you have a deal."

"Yes!" some Billings girl shouted.

It was like Crom just told the Billings girls they'd won the lottery. They were cheering and ecstatic looks replaced the "life flashing before my eyes" looks that had previously been there. In a way it was like they _had_ won the lottery. Even with all the violations they had stacked against them, even though it had almost been determined that their home would be shut down less than a minute ago, they had somehow broken down up-tight, no-nonsense Crom, and at the last minute, wrangled a deal out of him. They had some how proven that they could literally get away with anything. And I felt sick to my stomach.

The whole room was completely engrossed in excited conversation, but as I looked around at people's faces, I saw they were sharing my emotions. Shock. Disbelief. Even some disappointment. Not that I wanted this taken away from Reed, but I think it was at least what the Billings girls deserved. I mean they burned down the oldest building on campus, for crying out loud! I think I lost every bit of respect I've ever had for Cromwell, and maybe even for Reed too.

"Silence!" Crom ordered and we immediately obeyed.

"There is one stipulation," he stated with an strict stare at the Billings section. So there was his back bone. "This five million dollars must be raised, not gleaned from your trust funds or borrowed from your parents. You must actually raise it, and you must raise it in one month's time. I will also be contacting the Billings alumni and making it clear to them that they are not to help you with the preparations for whatever you conjure up. This fund-raiser will be planned by you and paid by you, and any profit will be fairly earned. Is that understood?"

Suddenly the Billings girls didn't look as assured as they did a minute ago. I guess they were planning on taking the easy way out, as always.

Reed turned back to her friends, as if making sure they were all willing to go through with this, then turned back to Crom and smiled.

"Done," she stated simply.

Crom adjourned the meeting and we all shuffled out of our seats. I had to get out of here now. Before Reed gets off the stage and I run the risk of bumping into her. So there I rushed off, all alone, feeling like I had lost Reed all over again.

**Yay! So I actually liked how this chapter turned out, and I hope you did to. But please, feedback is really important to me, and I'd love to see what you thought of this one. So please review if you can, and just so you know the next chapter might not come out for a while since I got school and gymnastics and stuff.**


	8. Chapter 8

**This is kind of off topic of my story, but have you guys read the new Privilege Series book, Pure Sin? I just finished it in 2 hours (no kidding) and I'd love to hear your opinion of it. I, for one, thought it was amazing, and really really intense! So anyways, hope you like this chapter!**

I sped-walked through the door of the Great Room, and tried to shove my way through the crowd migrating towards the quad. All of my friends were behind me, and they were probably going to ask me later why I ditched them, but I honestly didn't care right then. The only thing I could focus on at the moment was getting out of here, and finding a way to escape into my own little world. Luckily, I knew just the place to go to.

On the quad, everyone had clumped together in there little cliques, and I saw Reed in the midst of her friends. West Brightley, a guy who lives a couple doors down from me, was talking to her, his tall form towering over hers. He seemed to be joking, flirting, and a flash of anger coursed through me. Was he making a move on her? Already? I hadn't even told anyone we had broken up. Maybe he picked up on my pained expression and that weird squeaking noise I made when I saw her. Either way, he was a jackass if he was trying to get with her the second he realized Reed was single.

I kept my head down and focused on getting to the J.A.M. building, not wanting to think any more about that. About how probably tons of guys were going to go after her now, considering she was the Billings president, and of course, that she was incredibly gorgeous. And that gorgeous girl used to be mine...

I took a deep breath. _Get over it, Josh. You broke up with _her_, remember?_

I slipped into the building, walked down the hallway, and opened the door to the art studio. It was, thankfully, empty. An art teacher I had a few years back, Mr. Daber_, _told me that painting your feelings was the most therapeutic thing an artist can do. Today, I was taking his advice to heart, because if any one was in need of therapy, it was me.

I sat down on a stool at my station, and pulled out a canvas I had stored under my table. I had already started it a while ago, but never got a chance to finish it. It was an unpainted charcoal profile of Reed.

I set up my paint, put the canvas on an easel, and sat down at my stool. Then I just stared at it. There she was. The innocent, pure, profile of the love of my life stared back at me, and I felt like either bursting into tears, or having a panic attack. Both would cause me extreme humiliation if any one ever witnessed it. But it was all just such a cruel joke. To finally have something in my life, something so perfect, something that filled me with pure bliss every time I thought about it, just have it taken all away within an instant. Everything in my life seemed to end that way, my education at St. James Prep, my friendship with my old roommate there, my friendship with Thomas, and now my relationship and love of Reed. Everything just keeps being taken away from me.

I slumped my back until it formed a C shape, and just stared at the floor. So make for this being therapeutic, this was just down right depressing. It reminded me of everything that's ever gone wrong in my life, all the things I wish so desperately I could change, but know I can't. I'm not one to pity myself, but that's what I seemed to be drowning in right now.

I didn't notice the door being opened until I felt a presence in the room with me a few seconds later. I turned around, wondering who else would come to the art studio this early on a Monday, and saw none other than Reed herself.

My heart clenched with anger, and I felt like some one had just shot some drugs through my veins. Well at least this angry sensation was less painful then what I felt last time I saw her.

"You can't be here," I told her, hoping for all the world that would make her leave. I couldn't handle this, seeing her there was almost worst than seeing her in the painting. The painting.. Oh god, it was still on my easel, wasn't it? Oh well, it doesn't matter now.

"Why not? Maybe I've developed an interest in painting," she half-heartedly joked. _Was she seriously trying to make a_ joke_? Did she possibly think I'd find any of this funny?_

I stood up, a little roughly, seeing as I almost knocked the stool over. "No. I mean, you can't _really_ be here. You can't think we're going to talk about this. That you're going to find some way to explain it that will make me forgive you". She had to understand this, she had to understand she had messed up to the point of no return. That there was no way she could fix this.

Well she must of a little, because her face dropped, and instantly formed a pleading look. "Josh, please-"

"No! Reed, no. God!" I cut her off. As if for a reminder, my mind replayed the unsavory Reed/Dash tent scene and I brought my hand to my head with a flinch. "I can't get the picture of you and Dash out of my mind. Do you have any idea what this is like for me?"

"Ya actually, I do," she snapped at me. Like she had any right to snap at me after all she'd put me through. "But I took you back, remember?"

Really, she was using what happened with Cheyenne to justify what she did with Dash? Cheyenne drugged me, Reed knows she drugged me, so why even bring that up?

"You took me back because it wasn't me in there with her. Because she drugged me. Because I didn't know what I was doing."

Reed looked at a lost, and I knew all that could be said was said. I wanted this conversation to be over now, and I wanted to some how put this behind me. If there was no way to fix it, I at least wanted it to be done with.

"Josh, I love you. I-"

"Don't," I barked at her. "Of all things, do _not_ say that."

Like I needed a reminder of what could of been. Of how special what we had was, oh how she could've honestly been the one. But she had to go and ruin all of that.

I think my words sunk finally in, and it dawned on her that this was it. This was the end of our relationship. I could tell because Reed might as well have taken out a pen and written heartbroken on her forehead. I felt like someone had just died, and in a way that had happened. Because now Reed was dead to me, or at least the Reed I had known, and treasured, and above all, loved.

Now I just wanted her to leave me to my mourning.

"Please just go," I asked. "Just leave me alone."

"Fine," she said, sounding like she was going to burst into tears any second. "Fine, I'll go".

She turned around to leave, and I instantly felt better. So that's what it had come to. Me wanting to be as far away from Reed as possible, rather than as close as possible. Then she stopped. _What could she possibly want now?_

She turned around and looked like she wanted to ask something, but she was scared to. "Josh, I have to ask you one thing," she said her voice sounding hesitant and thick.

"What," I said glancing towards her. _Please let it be something good. I don't know what could be, but please just let it be good. Or better yet, don't ask anything. Just tell me this is all a joke. A really sick, unfunny joke._

"You're not.. I mean.. you're not going to tell Noelle, are you? About me and Dash?" she asked nervously.

I could only stare at her. No. She didn't ask that. She couldn't have. I mean, why would I tell Noelle? That hadn't even cross my mind. But of course it crossed hers.

_When are you going to learn, Josh? She doesn't care about you. She never has, and she's proven that time and time again. All she cares about is having Noelle's approval. Only an idiot like you wouldn't know that by now._

I laughed, and I'll admit, my voice scared me a little. Never has something sounded so forced, so full of anger, coming out of me. But I still shook my head, feeling my heart turning cold and heavy.

"No," I said looking at her, feeling every bit of hope I've clung to be replaced by bitterness and disgust. "No, I won't tell your precious Noelle. If that's what you really care about here, then don't worry. Your slutty little secret is safe with me."

Ouch. That sounded harsh, even to _me_. But it was like my sub-conscience had taken over. And it wanted Reed to suffer.

Well my words had gotten just that effect, because tears streaked Reed's face, and she looked like I just stabbed her repeatedly.

"Josh-" she croaked but yet I cut her off again.

"Good luck saving Billings," I said giving her a nasty look. _Might as well insult Billings while I'm at it, right?_

I then sat back down again, turning my back to her. I didn't want to see her reaction for that last one.

I heard her foot fall, and it sounded like she was running. Running away from me. And I could have sworn a heard some muffled sobs. A wave of guilt washed over me, and a closed my eyes with a shaky breathe. Not two seconds after the door shut, I heard voices outside the door.

"Trouble in paradise?" I heard a voice say. It was Ivy's. "Just think, if you hadn't crashed my party last night, none of this would have happened."

Panic shot through me as I thought of what happened yesterday at that party between me and Ivy. How she had kissed me, and I didn't even resist. Wait, she wasn't going to tell Reed, was she?

"Haven't you ever heard that it's inadvisable to have major relationship status conversations after chugging several fuzzy navels?" she asked derisively.

"How do you know what I was drinking?" Reed asked, accusative.

"Oh, I make a habit of keeping an eye on party crashers, just in case they cause trouble. Luckily, you only caused trouble for yourself," Ivy informed her.

She was watching Reed the whole night? That was kind of.. creepy. And wait, is that why she knew we broke up, and she went after me? All just to hurt Reed? And if she was watching her, did she know what she did with Dash, that she cheated on me?

"Well, I should let you get back to your little fund-raiser project. It's good to have a distraction at a trying time like this, Reed. Dr. Phil would be so proud," she said, her voice dripping in fake sympathy. Then she opened the door and came inside the room, slamming it in Reed's face.

My heart skipped about 20 beats with her being this near me, but I calmed down a little knowing Ivy hadn't told Reed about what happened between us. I know it was more than a little hypocritical of me, but I never wanted Reed to find out about that.

"Hey," she said standing right next to me and planting a kiss on my cheek. It took all my will power not to flinch away.

"Hi," I replied, my voice cracking embarrassingly. I cleared my voice, pretending I just had something in my throat. But the truth was having Ivy here brought on a whole mess of emotions I wasn't ready to deal with. I felt ashamed at myself for kissing her not an hour after I broke up with Reed, horrified that I'd let her use me to hurt Reed, and of course, I fear what I did led Ivy to believe I wanted to date her. Because I really don't, I think Reed is the only one I'll ever truly want, but I couldn't tell Ivy that without sounding extremely pathetic. Because Reed obviously didn't feel the same way about me, I wasn't the only one Reed ever truly wanted, and now Ivy knew that too.

"Sorry to stop by on such short notice, but I really wanted to see you," she said using a practiced, seductive tone.

"Glad you did," I lied.

"Did I ever tell you I had a really great time last night?" she asked, with a surprisingly genuine glint in her eyes.

"I did too," I said going for a smile, but I have a feeling I failed.

"Ya, apparently better than someone," she sang, tilting her head towards the door.

My heart panged at least a dozen times. Ivy was taking pleasure in this. I know she was. She must've seen Reed's face as she ran out of the room, seen her crying, and she was taking _pleasure_ in that. But who was I to judge, I was the one who made her cry in the first place. I don't think I've ever made a girl cry before...

Ivy's eyes suddenly flickered behind me and her eyebrows knit. I followed her lead, and found her staring at that painting of Reed. Super, now everyone gets to see my pathetic artwork today.

"Is that Reed?" she asked, the distaste evident in her voice.

"Ya," I said, but didn't want to seem so pitiful so I added in, "I was thinking of burning it later."

Ivy laughed extremely loudly, her voice filling the whole room. I couldn't help wondering whether the laugh was for my benefit, or because she was hoping Reed would hear it. The same intense guilt rolled over me, but than I thought about how Reed asked me to keep her secret from Noelle. How could she do that to me? She cheated on me, and yet she's more concerned that Noelle will find out it was with her boyfriend, then the fact that she broke my heart. Do I really mean that little to her?

"So I was wondering, do you want to have lunch with me today?" Ivy asked suddenly.

The panic set in again. Have lunch with her. Where Reed could potentially see. Where others could see and I'd be known as the guy who went out with Ivy Slade the day after I broke up with Reed Brennan. If that was, in fact, the way Reed said things went down. Maybe she told everyone that_ she _broke up with_ me_.

"You don't owe anything to her," Ivy said, obviously noting my hesitation. I guess she was right. Who cares what people think, who cares if Reed sees. She brought this on herself.

"OK," I finally answered, my voice sounding hoarse._ Reed doesn't care about me, so I don't care about her._

I hated the fact that that was becoming my new mantra.


	9. Chapter 9

**I know this kind of took me a while, but here you go, chapter 9! Hope you like it!**

"Hey, where were you today at lunch?". Ivy's voice startled me so much, I actually dropped the heavy text book I was skimming, and it landed on the floor with a sickening _BOOM_.

Everyone in the other-wise silent library turned to look as Ivy took the seat next to mine, and I could feel my face prickle with heat. I came here after classes to do some studying, but shocker of all shockers, I've gotten pretty much zero work since I've been here. Hey, it's not my fault my brain has been occupied with more important matters lately. Like avoiding Ivy, for one.

"I, um, didn't feel so good," I lied, trying my best not to let my terrible acting skills surface. To be honest, I hid out in the infirmory, feining sickness so I could avoid eating lunch with Ivy. I know, I know. I pathetic, I'm a wuss, yeah I've told myself all of this. But as long as I didn't have to see Reed, and have everyone thinking me and Ivy were together, I would hide out as long as I could. And it's been working up until now.

Ivy eyed me dubiously and I wondered if she was going to press the subject further. I mean it _was_ painfully obvious the sick story was fiction. "Josh, you don't have to lie to me," she started, looking at me knowingly. Okay, so I guess that answers my question. "I know you've been avoiding me, and I know why."

I glanced down at my blank notebook, which was supposed to be filled with notes on my biology lesson, and sighed. I really didn't want to talk about this, about why I wasn't willing to be with her. Because not only do I not wanna through the whole Reed territory, I also didn't want to confront Ivy on what she already knew, like if she knew Reed cheated on me or not. Since, not only is that humilating, for her to know that the only girl I've ever loved can't even be faithful to me, but also I'm pretty sure I'll start crying if I talk about this stuff out loud. Also severely humilating.

"You're not over Reed yet, I get it. But it might help to know Reed's moving on just fine," she said in a tone that wasn't cruel, but the words were almost condesending.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, jerking my head up so fast I almost gave myself whip lash. She couldn't mean that Reed was already dating someone already. She just couldn't. There's no way Reed would do that the day after she cheated on me.

"Yeah, I saw Hunter Branden talking to her, and she was totally flirting back," Ivy informed me, adding an eye roll.

_Hunter Branden?_ Bleh. As if that guy was even remotely good enough for Reed. In the few times I've actually tried to have a conversation with him, he wouldn't let me finish a sentence. Seriously. And if that wasn't annoying enough, it was always interrupted with some stupid thing about himself. It's all me, me, me with that guy. So what could Reed possibly see in him?

"Are you sure?" I questioned, not willing to believe Hunter Branden was her next choice. Even thinking about the possibility of Reed with some one else was enough to make me want to barf, or punch something, or start rocking back and forth.

"I'm positive. Don't get it, Josh? She doesn't give a crap about anyone but herself," Ivy said, resting her elbows on the wooden table and leaning over towards me. _No, you're wrong. She's caring and nice and understanding... _But then I stopped myself as I thought of this morning, of what she asked me to do. I hate to admit it, but Ivy might have a point there. "Unlike me. I actually care about you."

She placed her fingertips lightly on my arm, and it was all I could do not to scoff. If there was one thing I was certain of, it was Ivy Slade did not care about me. All she cared about was using me to tortue Reed, because for some reason she had a vendetta against all the Billings girls. I didn't know enough about her to say why, but since Ivy's taking so much of her time trying to mess with them, it must be personal. But then I looked up at her, at her sincere dark eyes, and felt instantly guilty. Maybe Ivy was just trying to help me out here. She's obviously noted how upset and depressed I am, maybe she feels sorry for me, and is trying to help me get over Reed. Not that I needed her pity, but hey, it was better than having no one.

"Thanks," I said, running my fingers through my curls, which I observed felt kind of greasy. Yeesh, when was the last time I showered? "I'll make it up to you. How about we eat lunch together tomorrow?". I tried to throw in a smile, to show her how enthusiastic and totally fine I was with all of this. Which I wasn't, but it wasn't like the infirmary would be a more fun way to spend lunch time.

"Yeah, that sounds perfect," she replied, grinning like she was genuinely pleased I was coming around. I still wondered what her angle on all of this was. Was she really just manipulating me into a relationship because she knew how much Reed would hate that, or did she actually like me? All I knew is I didn't trust Ivy yet, and I'm not sure I ever will. I also couldn't help wondering if these newly developed trust issues came from the fact the last time I had trusted someone they decided to mercilessly pummel my heart to a pulp.

God, I really had to stop with all these thoughts, it's not like they were doing me any good. I wonder if I should try that rubber band technique, where you wear a rubber band around your wrist, and everytime you think about a certain person, you'd flick yourself with it. It sounded paniful, yet effective. I wonder if-

"Want me to help you with your homework?" Ivy asked suddenly, drawing me out of my thoughts. Wow, these days I really was in my own little world. I had to snap out of it soon, or I'll be in a padded cell before I know it.

"Sure," I answered, and as me and Ivy reviewed molecules, and cells, and all the other stuff AP Biology forces me to learn, I mentally flicked myself with a rubber band over and over since my thoughts frequently wondered over to Reed.

**Ya, so it's a little on the shorter side, I'm aware. And I don't want to turn into one of those authors who begs for reveiws, but honestly it'll only take a minute of your time, and they're super helpful to me. So pretty please, just click the button down there and write something. I don't care if it's a "This story is terrible!" or "You suck!", just write anything, seriously. Thanks.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks so much for all your reviews you guys, you're the best! Hope chapter 10's just as good!**

_ OK Josh, you can do this. Just walk in, and stare straight ahead. This is no big deal. This is easy. You can do this._

I've been repeating that mantra in my head for the better part of a minute now, while me and Ivy stand outside the doors to the cafeteria. But despite the repetitive words, I knew in my gut this was a bad idea. First of all, seeing Reed in general is painful as hell, and also, I don't like the message me having lunch with Ivy is going to send to her. A big, giant _Screw you Reed! _But there was no more putting it off, Ivy was right there with our arms linked, and I was wearing my favorite sweater. I might as well just get this over with.

"You ready?" Ivy asked, looking plenty ready herself. She was wearing a black coat that matched her black hair and eyes, and it almost gave her a scary effect. Like right now she should be stirring a pot full of potions, or riding on a broom stick, rather than be here with me.

"Yep," I said quickly, mentally preparing myself with the mantra again. With one last smile, she opened the door and we entered the lunch room. I know I should've expected it, but I'm not exaggerating when I say we had _every _eye on us. I felt Ivy close in the space between our heads and whispered, "Now just stare straight ahead and don't look at anyone".

Her face was so close it was slightly touching mine, and I tried my best to not blush. "Got it," I told her. I did as she said, making my way towards the lunch line, but as I passed by Reed's table I couldn't help but notice her out of the corner of my eye. She looked stunned, if not hurt, and that annoying twinge of guilt came back. Despite all she's done, I didn't like that I was hurting her. But then I thought about Dash, and West, and Hunter, and then thought what does it matter if she sees me with Ivy. If all these guys were any indicator, she's probably moved on anyways. Finally we made our way to the lunch line and I sighed, feeling like I had just stepped out of the spotlight, which in a way I had.

"Well that was fun," Ivy said with a grin, looking pretty pleased with herself. I was_ really_ sick of Ivy being so damn happy about all of this, and how she kept getting her jollies from Reed being in any type of pain. Like when Reed ran out of the room crying after I basically called her a slut, and Ivy mocked her and then flirted with me. Ivy says Reed deserves this, but does she really? I mean I know she kind of screwed me over, but what has Reed ever really done to Ivy? I definitely knew one thing, though, any hope I've had that Ivy was only doing this because she liked me just flew out the window.

After filling my tray with the usual amount of crap I consume, Ivy and I walked over to small table and sat alone together. The second we did I saw Reed getting up from her table. Oh god, she wasn't coming over here to slap me or confront me was she? But as me, and well, everyone else watched her progression, I saw she was going towards a table where Hunter, Trey, and West sat. She pulled out a chair and sat right in front of Hunter. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but by her body language and the look on her face, I could tell she was flirting.

Was she kidding? She was flirting with Hunter right in front of me? I guess it makes sense, a _Screw you Josh! _response after what I just did to her, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Because not only does that confirm the fact that she had started something with Hunter, it also reminded me of what she did with Dash. The memory I've been doing a good job of suppressing until this moment came back. Reed and Dash in bed, both half dressed, both continuing to rip off each others clothes like sex-driven maniacs, came back like some kind of disgusting porno in my mind. It was like my own personal torture chamber, all those images being forced over and over into my screen of vision, and when it cleared up for a second to let me see what was going on in front of me, I saw Reed pressing the numbers on Hunter's phone ever so slowly. She must be giving him her number.

OK that's it. I've had enough of this program. So not thinking of Ivy, or how hungry I was, or the fact that half the cafeteria just turned around to look, I abandoned the table I was sharing with Ivy, and got the hell out of there.

* * *

That night, I was in my room, alone and doing homework, when Trey came back from his soccer practice.

"Oh, hey dude. I didn't think you'd be here." He threw his muddy cleats in his closet, and emptied out the contents of his bag on his bed. "I figured you be with-". He stopped suddenly and looked snagged, like he shouldn't have said that.

"Thought I'd be with who?" I asked, feeling genuinely curious.

"Never mind, forget I said anything," he said quickly, making me feel like something weird was going on here.

"Seriously man, just tell me," I said impatiently.

"OK fine," he sighed turning around to face me. "A couple of the guys during practice were talking about you and Ivy, so I don't know, I just thought you might be with her."

I honestly didn't know what to say. People were talking about me and Ivy already, which means it must've gotten around that I'm with her now. This was _so_ not good. That means that it probably got back to Reed, I mean her being the Billings president and all means she gets the gossip first, doesn't it? So Reed probably thinks I hooked up with Ivy a couple days after dumping her. I suddenly hated myself with a passion, because I knew this must be slowly killing Reed. Yes she cheated on me, yes she broke my heart, but that doesn't mean I wanted to do that right back to her.

"Josh, what happened with you guys?" he asked sitting down on the side of my bed. Shit, I need a way out of this conversation. I didn't want to tell him, for obvious reasons alone, and because, well, I promised Reed I wouldn't. I know, it's stupid to hold onto that after everything that went down between us, but I still made a promise. That means something to me, even if it doesn't for _some_ people.

When it became clear I wasn't answering any time soon, Trey decided to press on. "I mean, one second you guys are all happy and in love, then the next you're with Ivy, and she's going out with Jason-"

"Wait, what?" I interjected suddenly. I couldn't have heard him right. Did he seriously just say _Jason_? As in Jason Darlington?

"Yeah," he said looking at me guiltily. "He, um, told me that Reed agreed to go on a study date with him." I could hear my heart pounding in my ears and I felt like I was at the risk of throwing up. Jason and I were pretty close earlier on this year. He's a nice guy, and we've hung out a lot during soccer practices and other times. And now I don't even think I can talk to him again, especially if he becomes Reed's boyfri... boyfrie... God I couldn't even think of that word. So first Hunter, and now Jason? Was this Reed's new goal, to get with every guy I come in association with? I tried my best to keep the pain off my face, but judging by the sympathizing look on Trey's, I saw it was in vain. "Sorry, I, I shouldn't have told you that," he said finally, as if any of this was his fault.

"It's fine," I lied, and prayed to God that Trey would just leave it at that.

"You don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," Trey said, obviously pitying me, but that was fine. Maybe everyone feeling sorry for me was my key out of horrible conversations like this one.

"Thanks," I replied sheepishly, and then went back to my homework. And seeing as he answered my last prayer, I prayed to God one more time, asking that I wake up tomorrow morning and find out that this was all just the world's most terrorizing dream.

**Eh. Not my best chapter, I know. Sorry you guys, this was kind of just a filler since I've been really busy lately, but I promise next time I'll update faster and the chapter will be much, much better. Oh, also I just made a private cast on my profile and it took me a while so if you guys could tell me what you think of it that'd be incredible! Thanks!**


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